Deadly appointments,
every week
her thoughts slip into
spiralling self hate,
cut by gossip, snide barbs
oppression chains,
what she thinks others think,
Drowning in black surges
salt waters steal
Stripping layers
of life,
Until just a crying
mind self
bleeds dying rhythms
into surging seas,
washed and lost.

Can her heart
be saved?

Swallowed whole
Suicide by assignment
with decisions and indecision
she chose to swim
Tied in ropes
from past and present
Until it hurt
and death lethargy
overcame tired limbs
unwinding her soul
drifting into darkness
welcoming the release.

The first explosion
Of pain
was compressed lungs
screaming to take a breath
Knowing breath is death,
oxygen deprived,
mind spinning
she sinks further,
thirsting for numbness
wanting- not wanting to die
but intimately dancing
with death.

Can her heart
be saved?

Broken people stand
on the stony beach,
Knowing dying
is hardening out
in the dim currents,
wondering why
it keeps happening,
to the ones they
care about,
hoping a hand will
break the surface.

Unconscious the body drifts
Floating to the surface
and in the between
of life and final death
where dark closes in
and nothing more
surrounds,
She senses in her core
God is the only hope.
Her soul looks up
sees beyond the dark,
the disappear, the sea of pain.
and dares to trust.

Then a gasp of air,
her grip on death
is snatched away,
life support machines
faces of relatives, friends,
psychologist and strangers,
mix in a bewildering
scatter of awareness,
in hospital realities,
yet underneath
it all,
underneath the shame
is the new sense
she is loved deeply
loved fully for who she is
right here and now,
rescued and alive
for a purpose,
she is seen
without shame
without blame,
And she still has
that choice,
The hope which was lost
She can now find.

Poem Tags
#spoken-word, #poetry #seeker, #suicide, #hope,
#drowning, #life, #spoken-word, #death, #tiredness
Prompt
Seeking suicide, a release from the everyday, hoping that something will change.