Matrix Moments

Media Moments: Question, reflect, connect

Everybody

It started with a nickname
a random label
assigned in a moment
replicated repeated strikes
of laughter spikes
suffocations from voiceless friends
word knives carving my skin
silence from a universal background,
Every new person
who joined the class
repeated the fear
created more tears
collapsed the hope that
someone would be different
someone would be brave
someone would bring change
someone would stand up,
every day increased
the isolation
and the closing in
of the surrounding pack
hyenas on the prowl,
The hurt is me.

The bully is me
The bystander is me
The silence is me
Everybody is me.

Starting Thoughts:
While watching a video about bullying in a school I picked up my phone and started writing.
Poem Topic Tags: #words, #bullying, #bystander, #emotions, #hate, #hurt, #pain, #sadness, #schools, #silence
Posting Tags: #artist, #creativewriting, #edapp, #edchat, #edtech, #elearning, #GlobalEd, #god, #instawrite, #jesus, #lrnchat, #mlearning, #poems, #poetry, #poetrycommunity, #poetryinmotion, #poetryisnotdead, #poetsofinstagram, #schools, #spilledink, #spokenword, #teaching, #TT, #typewriter, #videos, #wordsmith, #writing, #writinglife
everybody_bulling_violence_sad_depression_school_poem_spoken_word

Sliding Doors

Concrete subway entrance
white tiles scattering light
daily journey to known destinations
daily journeys of choice chance,
I rush down the steps
Hitting the base platform
Fight through stainless steel turnstile
Hopefully looking towards 
black edged sliding doors
of the crowded train ready -
about to leave,
it seems that time has
collapsed to this moment
Slower yet faster
Frozen yet blurred
Will I make the ride?
Will I step through the sliding doors?
Will I make today’s future?

How will my life change
if I make it?
if I don't?
how does life turn on
the coin flip
the paper, scissors, rocks of life
the slip on the path
the bump in the queue
the look into someone's eye?

the tickets of chance

People
Pause
Purpose

Starting Thoughts:
Life turns on moments of choices we make or don't know have been made for us. Popularised by the Sliding Doors movie, what could happen if something was a few seconds earlier or later?
Poem Topic Tags: #aimlessness, #chance, #choices, #futures, #life, #predestination, #purpose, #tickets, #time,
Posting Tags: #artist, #creativewriting, #edapp, #edchat, #edtech, #elearning, #GlobalEd, #god, #instawrite, #jesus, #lrnchat, #mlearning, #poems, #poetry, #poetrycommunity, #poetryinmotion, #poetryisnotdead, #poetsofinstagram, #schools, #spilledink, #spokenword, #teaching, #TT, #typewriter, #videos, #wordsmith, #writing, #writinglife
sliding_doors_poem_poetry_spoken_word_christian_church_faith

Questions

Confusion and curiosity questions
Seeking answers because
we do not know,
genuine searching,

Or questions asked
seeking answers we desire,
In the space between answers given
and broken expectations
these questions are often dropped,
avoiding unwanted answers
avoiding uncomfortable truths.

Other questions
fall into emptiness
spoken into void
a black hole of non-return
disappearing into
vastness of life and space
creating a smallness paradox
that travels the mind
in endless unanswered patterns,
spirals where silence echoes silence,
leaving the questions
hanging in the silence...

Like Jesus.

My God, my God, why have you
deserted me?
Why are you so far away?
Won't you listen to my groans
and come to my rescue?
I cry out day and night,
but you don't answer,
and I can never rest.

Because of this silence
because of seeming absence
We have this reality -
Jesus has been there
we have this promise -
Jesus is here with us.

Starting Thoughts:
Questions are amazing doors that can open us to the world around us. We can also use them as weapons to blunt truth or reveal truth. Sometimes there seems to be no answers to our most painful questions.
Poem Topic Tags: #answers, #avoiding, #cross, #deserted, #pain, #promises, #questions, #searching, #truth,
Posting Tags: #artist, #creativewriting, #edapp, #edchat, #edtech, #elearning, #GlobalEd, #god, #instawrite, #jesus, #lrnchat, #mlearning, #poems, #poetry, #poetrycommunity, #poetryinmotion, #poetryisnotdead, #poetsofinstagram, #schools, #spilledink, #spokenword, #teaching, #TT, #typewriter, #videos, #wordsmith, #writing, #writinglife
questions_poem_poetry_life_answers_christian_god_church

Left Out

Was it a traffic light
a smoke signal
a not so coded message?
The book lay flat
cornered on our bookshelf
picked from its upright neighbours,
still and quiet,
closed,
there but not there
a metaphor
for its contents.

"How to Cope 
with Abuse"
the title
briefly removed
from a bookshelf
Taken but not kept
held but released
opened but briefly,

The story of a thousand
Pains 
Historical traumas
Fractured hopes
Broken lives
carried within its pages,
forgotten buried,
desperate hands emerging 
seeking from the grave
nails cracked
crying for help.

Was this book
left extracted
but returned
a silent teared whisper
from a brief borrower?

Starting Thoughts:
What do we read into the actions of others? Truth from our perspective or theirs? Do we see the hidden messages in what they do? How alive are we to others? I found a book that had been extracted and moved to a lying down position on our shelf . As I reviewed in my mind the conversations we had over the previous hours I wondered, "Did the visitor do this deliberately?"
Poem Topic Tags: #abuse, #abusive, #broken, #help, #hurt, #hope, #messages, #pain, #rape, #traumas,
Posting Tags: #artist, #creativewriting, #edapp, #edchat, #edtech, #elearning, #GlobalEd, #instawrite, #lrnchat, #mlearning, #poems, #poetry, #poetrycommunity, #poetryinmotion, #poetryisnotdead, #poetsofinstagram, #schools, #spilledink, #spokenword, #teaching, #TT, #typewriter, #videos, #wordsmith, #writing, #writinglife

Far Away

In the midst
of the loss
in my life,
the positivity
miracles and faith
seem human words.

I am
drifting Lost
just a vapour
just dust
layered times
patinas of pain,
My spirit
surrounded and boxed
cheap traps
flimsy cardboard
and sticky tape,
life archived
and placed on the
cold metal shelf
Another carton
of forgotten records
experiences
and notes on
a life
attempted.

I know
I see only
what I see
through the holes
and tears
in my box,
My dark perspective,
But as I touch
the sides
they feel concrete.

"Box on," they say.

Who is this Jesus?
I know I exist,
complex in a world
where evil occurs because
God is the only true good,
science points to the reality
the historical figure
Jesus
who says," I am
the one you
have been waiting for.
Who do you say I am?”

Who is this Jesus?

Can I see more through the tears
and holes in my box?

Poetry Topic Tag: #box, #christian, #experiences, #jesus, #life, #loss, #lost, #pain, #perspective, #poems, #poetry, #reality, #spokenword, #trapped,#videos, #who
Spoken Word poetry on how we sometimes feel trapped in a box.

With Friends

With friends
wandering the sunshine
saturated woods,
the journey of years
Footprints in the paths
we sometimes walked,
deliberately ambled,
Running again and again
on some trails
just for fun or
sheer pleasure,
Other tracks discovered
fresh and new,
explored one time,
A history tapestry of trails
previous moments;
shared laughter, deep talks,
generous thoughts, babies,
celebration, hugs and tears,
being human,
Through it all
the heart of life beating.

The random
Throw of dice,
fate turned eye-slitted mask,
pain that fastens
Claws into journey,
And suddenly
in a glade the
Sun is eclipsed
trees disappear
Dimmed to shadows,
friends there
but distant as the
mind shuts against reality,
life closes slow motion
To moments and long waits.

You have
a diagnosis of RCVS,
and they have the big words
to back it up:
Reversible Cerebral Vasoconstriction Syndrome.
Did I pronounce that right?
MRI, spirals of tests and requests
more information,
and you meet a new tomorrow
Where life's worth
Narrows to a thin light bulb
in the glade,
hanging on gossamer thread,
You stand in the clearing
light dim around,
it seems misty
without mist,
lonely
with friends,
real
and surreal twists together,
echoes of
“it shouldn’t be this...
how can it be?”
words, sentences,
paragraphs, stories
tumble from
white coated
important strangers...
from friends
mixing with your own
complex fractures
and connections in
your mind.

Is there an
indifference of meaning,
clocks ticking whisper
echoes
air wispy
"This time, this place.”

What can we say
but we’ll be there
ready for a hug
understanding your battle to
be strong in facing the mountain,
helping you through the words
knowing they are not your sentence,
praying for you
blessing the sun
on your face,
light into your forest glade
to lift mist and distance,
opening eyes to see
the Creator’s touch
deep in your soul.

Poem Tags
#spoken-word, #love, #medical-events, #problems, #relationship, #faith, #struggles, #life

Prompt
Carrying pain, wondering in the midst of a medical issue or event, what next?
With Friends in the Midst of Medical Struggles

Deep Pain

In the saturated Pain 
grappling bone deep
from skin cuts
To words slicing
into my brain,
I drown in the silent 
screams of my soul,
Apathy drifts 
strangling 
hopes and possibilities,
I hear of an amazing love
and it shines,
I hear Jesus is good, so good
I somehow know
a Soul calling,
but it still seems
a nightmare reach away,
an impossible journey,
how could I start
to believe,
in a room
Of those who have found
this real love,
How could it be for me?
Hard and dark
stark chalk outlines of my body 
rising from the concrete floor.
I am living dead.
Jesus 
Can I try you?
Yet I know that's not enough
Jesus
Can I believe?
Can I dare?
Can I trust?
To give you the whole
Of me.

In me...
Jesus.

I give my dark
I give my confusion,
My heart 
My despair
My hopes
asking for Your breath
to turn my heart,
Towards Jesus
Towards the Way, Truth, Life
Towards the new,
Thanking for total forgiveness
Thanking for amazing love,
I am free to be me
Free to give.

Poem Tags
#pain #spoken-word #seeking #faith #real-life #aloneInAroom

Prompt
Carrying pain, wondering in the midst of a medical issue or event, what next?
Can I let God into my Life

A Near Car Park

A open car park
dive in and align
Suddenly realising that 
out of fifty parks,
Six cars 
Have nestled themselves by
each other,
The rest of
white tooth gaps on tarmac
Vacant, 
our cars are friends
establishing relationships,
happily jostling car doors
sharing dents and dirt.

We so 
follow each other,
queues of togetherness;
boasting pairs in
line for Terror theme park ride,
waiting to see if you are
standing on toes
tall enough to enter,
sitting in rows of seats
hardly choosing the first
three rows, especially
favouring back rows,
And if someone tries too
Jump the queue,
break the silence,
We can be programmed
to stand on a bell
and not even know why.

And life
being the way it is,
“we like sheep gone astray”
pops into my head…

Silent without thinking
gliding into carparks,
in shameful past
many mute, stunned 
walked into gas chambers
died together
gassed in prison boxes
creeping from advertisement noise,
avalanches of media
images of sexual freedom
silent epidemics of porn 
on computers,
penetrating thoughts of 
it is about me, what I take
is OK, cousin sex play,
child play, drunk power,
and raw shame wraps
throats into more silence,
and no one talks with
61% of teens learning
about sex from the Internet.
No wonder
we suffer
whirlpools of inaccuracy, indifference
incest, ingrained secrecy, 
stored death,
Creeping electron feet
Assault and battery
screens in our houses,

Strangers we've 
never seen, met, known
invited to your home,
How, in the cesspool,
can we swim
without swallowing?

Sleeper Awake!

We can only
turn to the one
who is living water,
Changing the landscape
of our lives,
Who loves deep, cleanses deep,
Forgives deep, changes deep,
reveals and sets free.

Poem Tags
#pornography #love #speakout #bedifferent #following

Prompt
Sexual abuse, pornography, shame and pain.
Parable of the Car Park Poem

Silence in Homes

Silence in homes,
Behind the screens 
and headphones,
parent indifference
mixed with fear
throttling the talk
stifling the possibilities,
A silent generation
trading life, raising blanks,
ready to be imprinted
with porn, sexual experimentation,
sexualised children,
abuse, free love that is expensive
Generation to generation
oppression chains passed down,
deception increasing,
darkness stains minds
into ignorance.

Not us
You cry
Hello?
13-15 year olds in NZ
highest age group percentage 
watching child porn,
teen suicide rates highest 
developed world,
1 in 5 NZ teens asked 
for nude selfies 
in the last year,
NZ fresh clean?
vast magnificent mountains
and landscapes
so empty
hands and minds drip
Poison into vanities
Into homes, into business
Softly stealing
the beauty of sex
the beauty of life
Playing games
of casual hurt,
consuming loneliness.

When will we wake
Speak up,
Open blind eyes
see reality.

Who will
Hear my heart?
Be not afraid!
My desire is to restore
To reveal and heal,
Cleansing your past
breaking soul ties
giving the answer
of deep joy.


Who will be my love?
Be healed
Be different
Be strong
Be open be true
Be held in my arms
Know ear to chest
My heartbeat
Be intimate.

All things made new,
All things redeemed,
All things timed,
My bride arise
Cleansed, beautiful, restored 
made pure,
made ready,
The creator
Can recreate!

Poem Tags
#pornography #love #speakout #bedifferent #following #abuse #meto

Prompt
Is porn an epidemic? Harmful or just fun?
The Tide of Pornography and call to God

Christchurch Trashed

Christchurch trashed and bruised
Boulders tumbling
The hills poured stone
Stoning
Facades falling
streets and spirits broken,
dust rises
tremours, terrors, confusions
drift to the sky
desperation on hours, days, weeks
that roll like the boulders
and burdens into years,
Can these abused bones
live again?
Stained lives
broken pipes and dreams,
sucking mud and
sand strangles.

But do you see?
the light on the mountains,
Lift up your heads
See
Who is this King?
See the glory
He rolled the stone away
No power, no mountain
no death, no pain,
could hold Him,
No lie, no darkness,
no apathy, no fault
can control Him,
His body bag
and bones
powered to life,
Jesus Christ
the Son rises, Triumph!

Do you hear
the whisper?
The sweet voice
of the Lord,
the life living
on the winds,
turning everything around,
Taste the different,
the new,
Lift your souls
Rise up as eagles
soar in His love,
Speak to your faith,
sing your song,
imagine His eternity
deep to deep,
strongly given
your named white stone
the entrance
to His presence
His banquet,
His purity,
And you stand
Sons and Daughters
of God
Raise your hands,
Exalt your King,
Church of Christ,
Christchurch
In his grace
See Him
Know Him -
Love Him.

Revelation 2:17

Prompt
Emerging from the faultline, from the struggles is a city on the farside of the world from Israel with the name of Christchurch.
Christian poem on the emergence of worship from the struggles of life

In My Soul

In my soul
songs staircase upwards
spiralling through my heart
music moves
leading, lifting
A pathway
to voice my innermost spirit
and I praise,
Worship dimensions
widening renewing minds,
expanding space,
And I wonder, adore, magnify
washed in His grace
knowing extreme love
Knowing amazing new life
knowing the eternal,
the peace of heaven,
And in a breakthrough
of faith
~free flowing~
I extol, extol
Holy, holy is His name,
holiness perfection
a righteousness foundation
surrounds His throne,
and pierced
by a revelation of righteousness
by Christs' rich love,
Glorious splendour dawns
and reigns in who I am,
for Jesus is His name,
Saviour of the Ages
I am God's beauty
My name written
intimate
on His Messiah palm,
I forever live
Here and now
righteousness released.

Prompt
The foundation of the throne of God is righteousness and justice. Christ's resurrection makes us righteous in God's sight. Do we live from this?
Christian poem about the righteousness of God

Darkest Secrets

What is yours?

The years have rolled
memories ripples
over sunken depths
and sparkling wavelets,
buried deep,
the faultline still exists
a fragment memory,
skipping, slipping through mind
when words, phrases
crack open space
pouring into the past,
Clambering spiders
make homes in the rocks
Spin their web
to cover the entrance
into thoughts
dimming them to
encrusted abyss,
covered, buried,
hardened, concealed, flooded

Yet
deep to deep
history to now
wounded whispers
creep from your soul shadows,
twisting your perspectives
feeding your anger, fear,
reactions as you pour
three pain curses
on others,
Making you
feel better, in control
as you try to dam
and dump toxic waste
polluting the waters.

Hidden and obvious.
Death nature.

Poem Tags
#anger, #christian, #darkness, #death, #fear, #history, #memories, #minds, #pain, #poems, #poetry, #secrets, #seeker, #sin, #spokenword
Prompt
How secret are our darkest secrets? In what way do they keep bubbling to the surface?
Can you handle your darkest secrets Spoken Word Poetry

Without Blame

If every mistake
Every dishonesty
was recorded, held, kept
stored for future blame;
"Oh you've done it again,"
"Why do I always do this?"
Would the friendship last?
marriage last?
who could stand?
would self survive?

Can I cover
in activity, work?
Can I hide
in success, confidence?
Can I soothe
in sex, food?
Can I release
in sport, shopping?
Can I kill
in war, hate?
Can I forget
in drugs, alcohol?
Can I pretend
in family, love?
All is meaningless, random.
The sea rolls heavy
with turgid blood
of the dead,
living souls drown.

Out of the depths I cry 
nightmare pain torn,
My whole being waits,
Suspended apart,
closed, open.

Can I put hope in God?

Revelation 16:3
How do our mistakes affect us? How do we cover what we do? Check out "Without Blame"

Fractured Margins

On the fractured margins 
of belonging
the homeless drift,
Tiredness seeps 
chilling hope
unraveling possibilities
to single points of survival;
the need for the night,
Next meal
A dollar
A place to sleep.
Surrounded by a 
world of addiction
to money, fame, 
power, games, 
self,
Surrounded by
glass panes of buildings
pains of people,
in these reflected mirrors
the street seems simpler.

Starting Thoughts: Why does life on the streets seem simpler for some? Why is it an escape?
Poem Topic Tags:
#addiction, #homeless, #hopes, #love, #poor, #power, #reality, #reallife, #seeker, #self,
Posting Tags: #artist, #christian, #creativewriting, #instawrite, #poems, #poetry, #poetsofinstagram, #poetryisnotdead, #poetrycommunity, #poetryinmotion, #spilledink, #spokenword, #typewriter, #videos, #wordsmith, #writing, #writinglife, #writerscommunity, #writerscorner, #writersofinstagram,
Spoken Word Poem on how life on the streets can be simpler

Plastic Love

A cautious sunbeam
scatters dust and time
across the unseen 
attic space,
time crumbles -
avalanche tumbling
present to the future,
cracked death
fractures window glass,
the barbie doll leers
under dark hidden
cardboard box shadows, 
twisted arms agape
legs impossible
angles of hope,
vacant eyes torn
from plastic life,
heart black oil
joint seeping,
memories of childhood
mind blotted by
screams of adolescence,
frustration tears
seep slim cheeks,
cheapened silence
strangles desires
smooth skin
slim waist, 
elongated arms akimbo
reflect human condition
in a circus hall of mirrors.

Dance on the soul
with your hate,
poke sneers
into the mindless,
sex your smile
in feeble resuscitation,
drift addiction
your dreams,
slumber with sleep 
and rupture your essence.

Outside
rustling leaves
quiet clap 
the always autumn sun,
time slows,
angles change and
the sunlight splits 
through cracked pain
twisting God's rainbow
into the room.
Barbie broken, life discarded poem

Your Cost

Take your life
expense
excellence, cost, love
fear, success
Break it;
Kneel
and pour the oil,
Anoint the feet
of Jesus,
Tender, intimate,
without a care
for those around,
devoted in passion
massage deep,
devoted 
stay in that place
remain close,
wipe the dust,
soften His calluses,
in veins see his blood beat;
your heart worships
deep calls to deep,
fearless cost
Connected in communion,
Can you be closer?
Yes! taking your long hair
You twist the strands slightly
and wipe Christ's feet...
worship moment, 
timeless drift.

How can these seconds
Be as powerful
as a hug,
as exciting 
as first love,
as secure
as holding hands,
as wrapped in a
Heartbeat?

Finished 
but not wanting to be,
you stand;
He smiles,
Eyes sparked in love,
And you enjoy... fully alive.

Luke 7: 36-50

I Stand

I stand
in a crowd
they blur 
in fast forward motion
around me,
my heart slow mo,
Surrounded by life but empty,
Even sound
is muted
dialled down,
time threatens me
a tomorrow enemy
coming insanely quicker
invading here now,
Colours fragment-
are hard to track,
buildings gravity lean
compressing my space,
I crazily condense
shrinking from
false business
flashing toothless signs
muttered sorry
from bumper car drones
hurrying on programmed tracks, 
Hopelessness grips, fear tendrils
into my darkening mind.
No hope
No way
No where to go

Pieces
of me splinter 
in my soul.
I Stand Alone Crowd poem

Life's Edges

Box trapped
Straitjacket message from hell
Walls surround,
Dark gnawing at
edges of life.

Whether I walk 
the streets
Or few metres to cell bars
I am in prison,
Forever blackness,
Somehow worse, exposed
in sunlight or florescent tubes,
So dry, no tears only anger
So buried, no hope only pain,

I can't do broken alone,
Where do my thoughts leak?
Who else can know my thoughts?

Starting Thoughts: Sometimes the walls in life seem so bleak and closed in we are close to what we think prison might be like, but know this is really unreality. There are other choices.
Poem Topic Tags:
#anger, #box, #broken, #decision, #hope, #pain, #prison, #reality, #seeker, #thoughts, #reallife, #trapped
Posting Tags: #artist, #christian, #creativewriting, #instawrite, #poems, #poetry, #poetsofinstagram, #poetryisnotdead, #poetrycommunity, #poetryinmotion, #spilledink, #spokenword, #typewriter, #videos, #wordsmith, #writing, #writinglife, #writerscommunity, #writerscorner, #writersofinstagram,
Sometimes we feel in prison and unreal reality, poem and spoken word

Shattered

Shattered,
Numb holes
In our soul's fragments,
Pain etched across
Faces, TV
Replays of scenes
In Mixed media
In minds
In conversations,
Swirling emotions
Holding pain
Sharing pain,
Questions
With no answers
Voiced into
The not knowing

Hope birthed
Neighbours knocking on doors
Student army young muscles
Shifting disaster spade by wheelbarrow,
Water shared
Meals shared
Stories shared.

Anger birthed,
Knock on darkened door
Torch flashed in face
Surprising back pack
Dark clad looter
Runs With adrenalin
Black heart into blackness

Waiting birthed,
Return text
From family,
Call to say
Loved one safe,
Water, power, food
Sleep weary
Simple day to day life
Routines desired.

Possessions hammered,
Learning stuff
Doesn't matter
Compared to life.

In dust
Crumpled buildings
Flooded houses
Liquefaction hit
Alive is celebrated
On scales
Grim to thankful
Stunned to action.

Others, randomly ok
Feel guilty spared
Unsure.

God we cry
Cry

A blink of time
In Your hands,
We trust
Now and tomorrow
To God,
Who knew shattered,
Had close family
Who understands human
Knew death
New life in resurrection power.

God we hope
Deeper into You.
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