Matrix Moments

Media Moments: Question, reflect, connect

Fire

There was a time
back in Australia
When all seemed congratulations:
The surface achievements 
A fitter turner in mines,
Dollars rolling in,
single life living,
Million dollar property
a dream for
a man with a life ahead
all right mate!

But hardness, loneliness
preying women
misfired emotions 
lurked in my uncle's heart,
spiders poisoned his mind
black arts
webbing it in fear,
Pieces and peace lost
to dark thoughts
and he was captured
in the mental health system
Confined bleakness
surrounded by good helpers.

The early morning
sunrise rose a new day
and he took a last walk
threading a life line
of purpose
false purpose,
A refillable cigarette lighter
fiddling its tune in his hand,
floating intentions
of burning the blackness
from his life,
an operation he said
on the phone the day before
"that I might not survive,"
He arrived
to front courtyard brick drive
surrounded by faceless
building institution windows,
carrying the weight,
seeking to burn the pain,
arachnids danced,
he twisted Destiny's cap
spun roulette
on a spiral thread,
Sprinkled the fluid
from the thin metal
container
splashed ashes to ashes
dust to dust
above his head
on his clothes,
And the decision clicked
in his fingers
Lighter spark flared,
Fumes, clothes, hair ignited
burning it all away;
Burning deep
Skin, flesh, black spiders
to suffer three weeks
burn care,
Finally, fading away
into death's fire.

He heard a call...
thoughts trapped
What do you hear?
What will bring you life?

#call, #christian, #death, #evil, #happiness, #hope, #identity, #loneliness, #mentalhealth, #money, #poems, #poetry, #seeker, #spokenword, #suicide, #videos
Using fire to find release, from black arts poem

Lost

Deadly appointments,
every week
her thoughts slip into
spiralling self hate,
cut by gossip, snide barbs
oppression chains,
what she thinks others think,
Drowning in black surges
salt waters steal
Stripping layers
of life,
Until just a crying
mind self
bleeds dying rhythms
into surging seas,
washed and lost.

Can her heart
be saved?

Swallowed whole
Suicide by assignment
with decisions and indecision
she chose to swim
Tied in ropes
from past and present
Until it hurt
and death lethargy
overcame tired limbs
unwinding her soul
drifting into darkness
welcoming the release.

The first explosion
Of pain
was compressed lungs
screaming to take a breath
Knowing breath is death,
oxygen deprived,
mind spinning
she sinks further,
thirsting for numbness
wanting- not wanting to die
but intimately dancing
with death.

Can her heart
be saved?

Broken people stand
on the stony beach,
Knowing dying
is hardening out
in the dim currents,
wondering why
it keeps happening,
to the ones they
care about,
hoping a hand will
break the surface.

Unconscious the body drifts
Floating to the surface
and in the between
of life and final death
where dark closes in
and nothing more
surrounds,
She senses in her core
God is the only hope.
Her soul looks up
sees beyond the dark,
the disappear, the sea of pain.
and dares to trust.

Then a gasp of air,
her grip on death
is snatched away,
life support machines
faces of relatives, friends,
psychologist and strangers,
mix in a bewildering
scatter of awareness,
in hospital realities,
yet underneath
it all,
underneath the shame
is the new sense
she is loved deeply
loved fully for who she is
right here and now,
rescued and alive
for a purpose,
she is seen
without shame
without blame,
And she still has
that choice,
The hope which was lost
She can now find.

Poem Tags
#spoken-word, #poetry #seeker, #suicide, #hope,
#drowning, #life, #spoken-word, #death, #tiredness

Prompt
Seeking suicide, a release from the everyday, hoping that something will change.
Suicide - where is the hope? Spoken Word Poem.

Flourish

In the heat
burned a mistake,
toxic
yet strangely cold,
Wounded
Cut,
Despairing,
Agonised,
Retreating from the real,
Unconnected,
life suicidal,
alone.

Could there be more?
What do you really want?

I am the Lord,
I demonstrated
an incredible
poured out love,
Christ, my Son
who died
for you,
For your past, present, future;

Oh, how I love you.

And you will be
...will be...
transplanted, born anew
Deeply cherished
Highly favoured
You will be rooted;
immersed into God,
established in
wider, higher, deeper
extravagant, endless love,
fresh life saturated
In Living water,
A revelation
of the infinite power
streaming to your spirit,
cascades of
Holy Spirit,
flooding immersive
your soul.
Rooted in Jesus as Lord.

Never doubt...
Open
to Him,
Make
Him Lord and King,
Place
Him first.

Be close
in Him, Blossom,
Be ready
to change,
Be loved
deeply, completely
Be overflowing
with love,
Be close, so close
to the Lover,
Be aware
in the pain,
Be powerful
in your innermost depths,
Be burning
fire spirit of God,
Be energised
joyful action,
Be strong
in the truth,
Be curious
seek the questions,
Be loyal
living harmony in community,
Be soaked
in the Word of God,
Be Communion
intimate with bread and wine,
Be impassioned
in prayer,
Be flowing
passion in the living river,
Be drawn
open to supernatural
Be aware
open to God's amazing,

Be quiet
sleep in the corner...

And you will...
Be filled
Spirit restored,
Be taken
deeper into mysteries,
Be flourishing
a Fruit festival,
Be transformed
by where you will go...
Flourish by the river Christian Poem

Breaking Waters

Mist waters grey the horizon,
Sullen sea white caps
wash thrusting pier,
dark encrusted woods
wounding the ocean’s belly.

Above 
the foam-lashed poles
stands a black-coated
figure at Land's End,
A lone woman
in a dark gown
spray-laced air,
the cold
snatching her dress.

Heaviness stalks the atmosphere,
her forfeited heart
tear blurred eyes
stare unseeing 
within annoyed sea

Hurt showed
in her silhouette
I called out,
she turned
and I saw black 
in the eyes,
personality in retreat
and the sea stilled.

I blinked once
like forgotten care…
she was gone,
an empty space,
questions
about another
life lost.
Breaking Waters Suicide Poem
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